Misc -
Don't really know where these jokes should go.
TO ALL YOU ACCENTED PEOPLE;
My name is NOT pronounced "Cintun".
And no, it isn't pronounced asshole either.
-_-
My name is NOT pronounced "Cintun".
And no, it isn't pronounced asshole either.
-_-
Stuff
A boy named snowflake walked up to his mom and asked "mama, why is my name snowflake" she said " when we walked you out of the hospital a snowflake landed on your nose." so he walked away. The next day raindrop came up , asked the same Q and got the same answer. One more child walked up but before he could ask the mom said "SHUT UP BRICK!!"
A boy named snowflake walked up to his mom and asked "mama, why is my name snowflake" she said " when we walked you out of the hospital a snowflake landed on your nose." so he walked away. The next day raindrop came up , asked the same Q and got the same answer. One more child walked up but before he could ask the mom said "SHUT UP BRICK!!"
(untitled).
My cat is like a big, fluffy pillow. The difference is, the pillow doesn't scratch when you lay down on it.
My cat is like a big, fluffy pillow. The difference is, the pillow doesn't scratch when you lay down on it.
.......
Do you wanna know the secret to living a blissful life?
Don't watch the news, they fill it with really tragic things.
Do you wanna know the secret to living a blissful life?
Don't watch the news, they fill it with really tragic things.
Saved...
Before the Internet...
"Hey kid, wanna buy drugs?"
"I don't believe in doing drugs."
After the creation of the Internet...
"Hey kid, wanna buy drugs?"
"I don't believe in buying things."
See, piracy helps young adults make the right choice to not do drugs. So does Cyanide and Happiness, well at least this one does.
Before the Internet...
"Hey kid, wanna buy drugs?"
"I don't believe in doing drugs."
After the creation of the Internet...
"Hey kid, wanna buy drugs?"
"I don't believe in buying things."
See, piracy helps young adults make the right choice to not do drugs. So does Cyanide and Happiness, well at least this one does.
Shark
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!"
I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!"
I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
World War 2
"World War 2 is a big ting where nuff man get killed. It start cos there's this guy called Hitler, and he killed bear Jews, for real."
Since Wikipedia went black, my son's schoolwork has suffered greatly.
"World War 2 is a big ting where nuff man get killed. It start cos there's this guy called Hitler, and he killed bear Jews, for real."
Since Wikipedia went black, my son's schoolwork has suffered greatly.
Cards You'll Never See In Hallmark
"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife. " "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby? " "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind. " "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you. " "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking? " "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me. " "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister. " "As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy... " "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this! " "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again. " "Someday I hope to get married, but not to you. " "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine. " "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike! "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise. " "I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys. " "We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits. " "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here. " "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? " "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often. " "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday ---so we're having you put to sleep. " "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!! " (available only in Arkansas)"
"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife. " "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby? " "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind. " "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you. " "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking? " "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me. " "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister. " "As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy... " "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this! " "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again. " "Someday I hope to get married, but not to you. " "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine. " "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike! "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise. " "I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys. " "We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits. " "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here. " "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? " "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often. " "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday ---so we're having you put to sleep. " "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!! " (available only in Arkansas)"
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