Misc -

Don't really know where these jokes should go.

Russians

In America you assasinate president. In Soviet Russia president assasinate YOU!

3.3 / 5  (3 votes)
| by Rehald
| Misc
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Never fight with lightning. It always strikes back.
2.0 / 5  (1 vote)
| by SpArTa35
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What's the Difference?

What is the difference between a porcupine and an FBI agent?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
5.0 / 5  (2 votes)
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Sickipedia

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
5.0 / 5  (3 votes)
| by nnicoolson
| Misc
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A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice says: OPEN! Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins. The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO! Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino. The deep voice says: ROULETTE! So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. The deep voice says: 27! He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stops at the 26. The deep voice says: SHIT!
2.9 / 5  (11 votes)
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Ocean

What did the Atlantic ocean say to the pacific ocean?

Nothing. It just waved!!
3.3 / 5  (3 votes)
| by fabio12
| Misc
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4 Squared

If a bunch of 3 year olds were playing four square what would you call it?

Almost 4 square
1.6 / 5  (5 votes)
| by odog86
| Misc
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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways when crossing a road, the drivers look for him.
1.8 / 5  (4 votes)
| by OrsomeMan
| Misc
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Tree Puns

I hate tree puns!
They're a pine in the ash and they make me sycamore
5.0 / 5  (2 votes)
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Teacher Said It

Why was the ink drop crying?

Because his dad was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
4.0 / 5  (4 votes)
| by erica17
| Misc
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Showing 1 to 10 of 123 jokes.