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Sam Jackson
It's not that I think you're stupid. It's just that whenever I'm around you, I feel REALLY SMART.
It's not that I think you're stupid. It's just that whenever I'm around you, I feel REALLY SMART.
Do writers put any thing on their signs when they are on strike?
Radio
Did you hear about the blonde that bought a radio?
It took her seven months to realize she could play AM Radio in the afternoon
Did you hear about the blonde that bought a radio?
It took her seven months to realize she could play AM Radio in the afternoon
'The Assumption Song' Lyrics
There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick
Their feet in the water, their hands on their
Marbles and play things at a half passed four
There came a young lady who looked like a
Pretty, young preacher
She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress
And she showed them her
Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children, so they would not spit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse, and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizable
Home in the country, with a big fence out front
If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
Little pet dog, who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small, tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she'd bend over and suck on his
Candy, so tasty made of butterscotch
And then he'd spread whip cream all over her
Cookies that she had left out on her shelf.
There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick
Their feet in the water, their hands on their
Marbles and play things at a half passed four
There came a young lady who looked like a
Pretty, young preacher
She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress
And she showed them her
Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children, so they would not spit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse, and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizable
Home in the country, with a big fence out front
If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
Little pet dog, who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small, tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she'd bend over and suck on his
Candy, so tasty made of butterscotch
And then he'd spread whip cream all over her
Cookies that she had left out on her shelf.
Not Happy!
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well then, which one are you?'
And that's how the fight started...
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well then, which one are you?'
And that's how the fight started...
Wanna See A Dead Body?
Guy A: Wanna see a dead body?
Guy B: Sure!
(Guy A and Guy B confronted the dead body)
Guy B: Isn't that your wife?
Guy A: ......
(Guy A meets Guy C)
Guy A: Wanna see some dead bodies?
Guy C: Sure!
Guy A: Wanna see a dead body?
Guy B: Sure!
(Guy A and Guy B confronted the dead body)
Guy B: Isn't that your wife?
Guy A: ......
(Guy A meets Guy C)
Guy A: Wanna see some dead bodies?
Guy C: Sure!
Room Blonde
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner?
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner?
If it's 0 temp today and it's going to be twice as cold the next day how cold will it be?
Showing 71 to 80 of 1502 jokes.
