Submitted Jokes -
The following jokes were submitted for your enjoyment by LosheLoshe.
Q: What starts with F and ends with UCK?
A: Firetruck, what else?
A: Firetruck, what else?
"Mosquitoes are getting so big these days. Last week I saw one fly off with a Mini Cooper."
~Conan O'Brian
~Conan O'Brian
Jesus Is Watching You
A thief broke into a home and started to take all the valuables. As he was going for the jewelry he heard a sound. "Jesus is watching you." Shaking his head, the thief continued to take the valuables, promising himself a long vacation after this house. When he finished taking the jewelry, he heard again "Jesus is watching you." Stunned, the thief walked over to the sound and saw a parrot in a cage. The parrot said "Jesus is watching you."
The thief said "Hey you! What's your name?"
The parrot replied "Moses."
"Moses?!" the thief laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird replies, "The same people who would name a rottweiler Jesus"
A thief broke into a home and started to take all the valuables. As he was going for the jewelry he heard a sound. "Jesus is watching you." Shaking his head, the thief continued to take the valuables, promising himself a long vacation after this house. When he finished taking the jewelry, he heard again "Jesus is watching you." Stunned, the thief walked over to the sound and saw a parrot in a cage. The parrot said "Jesus is watching you."
The thief said "Hey you! What's your name?"
The parrot replied "Moses."
"Moses?!" the thief laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird replies, "The same people who would name a rottweiler Jesus"
Cheap Dad
My dad is cheap. When his car's muffler broke, he made himself a new out of an soup can.
When he was a couple blocks away I could say, "Hey, my dad's close by!"
My friend would say, "How do you know?"
*BRRR CLANK PFF PFF*
"Just a hunch."
My dad is cheap. When his car's muffler broke, he made himself a new out of an soup can.
When he was a couple blocks away I could say, "Hey, my dad's close by!"
My friend would say, "How do you know?"
*BRRR CLANK PFF PFF*
"Just a hunch."
The sun must be jealous, cause you're so hot
Procrastination
"Procrastination: the art of keeping up with yesterday."
"That's Funny, I'll laugh tomorow."
"Procrastination: the art of keeping up with yesterday."
"That's Funny, I'll laugh tomorow."
MC Hammer
"Apparently it was rumoured that MC Hammer was walking around the street holding up a sign saying 'for ten bucks you can touch this' "
-Craig Ferguson
"Apparently it was rumoured that MC Hammer was walking around the street holding up a sign saying 'for ten bucks you can touch this' "
-Craig Ferguson
"Dear Craig, whenever i talk to men, they end up watching my breasts more than my face. How can I prevent this?"
"Well, I have to take a look at them first to let me know what we're dealing with here."
-Craig Ferguson
"Well, I have to take a look at them first to let me know what we're dealing with here."
-Craig Ferguson
