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Liers
So your parents said you lied about telling them what you did. Then you look at them and say Santa clause,Easter bunny,and the tooth fairy. Then walk away.
So your parents said you lied about telling them what you did. Then you look at them and say Santa clause,Easter bunny,and the tooth fairy. Then walk away.
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back."
A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched.
Pointing to the pile of sand, the foreman says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!"
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, "Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand?"
The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him!"
The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back."
A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched.
Pointing to the pile of sand, the foreman says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!"
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, "Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand?"
The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him!"
The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
Yo Mamma
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up " said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot? " enquired the teacher with a sneer."Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself. "
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up " said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot? " enquired the teacher with a sneer."Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself. "
My love for you is like diarrhea, I can hardly hold it in!
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
Rarest Thing In The World
Boy:hey dad you know what the rarest thing in the world is?
Dad:what
Boy:a smart blonde (:
Boy:hey dad you know what the rarest thing in the world is?
Dad:what
Boy:a smart blonde (:
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