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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did
you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your
private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a
grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did
you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your
private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen
before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
A head-on collision occurred between a man and a woman. Both emerged from the scene intact while their cars were totally demolished.
The woman said, "This is quite a predicament. We should drink a toast to celebrate this miracle."
The man replied, "What a great idea; I just happen to have a bottle with me." With this he handed it to the man. The man downed half the bottle and handed it back.
The woman would not take it back and said, "I think I will wait until after the police arrive to celebrate."
The woman said, "This is quite a predicament. We should drink a toast to celebrate this miracle."
The man replied, "What a great idea; I just happen to have a bottle with me." With this he handed it to the man. The man downed half the bottle and handed it back.
The woman would not take it back and said, "I think I will wait until after the police arrive to celebrate."
World Women's Conference
At the 2010 World Women's Conference the first speaker from England stood up:
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb." The crowd cheered.
The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well." The crowd cheered.
The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
At the 2010 World Women's Conference the first speaker from England stood up:
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb." The crowd cheered.
The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well." The crowd cheered.
The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
-Rodney Dangerfield
-Rodney Dangerfield
Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo momma's so fat, the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.
Yo momma's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo momma's so fat, that they had to change "One size fits all" to "One size fits most".
Yo momma's so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
Yo momma's so poor, when burglars break into her home they leave money.
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