Favorite Jokes -
These are Roflmao69's favorite jokes, check them out.
The word of the day is legs why don't we go back to my place and spread the word!
Let's play titanic when I say Iceberg you go down.
Roses are red
Flowers are blue
The lower the skirt
The better the view
Flowers are blue
The lower the skirt
The better the view
Homeless
Today I realized Mario is definitely homeless. He wakes up every day wearing the same clothes, runs about the sewers, beats people up for their money, and what does he spend it on? Mushrooms.
Today I realized Mario is definitely homeless. He wakes up every day wearing the same clothes, runs about the sewers, beats people up for their money, and what does he spend it on? Mushrooms.
Fart
I was in a bar yesterday when I suddenly needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat of the music. After a few songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... Then I remembered I was listening to my iPod.
I was in a bar yesterday when I suddenly needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat of the music. After a few songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... Then I remembered I was listening to my iPod.
Great Pickup Poem...
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty...
And so is your head.
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty...
And so is your head.
ducks
Q: why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: to stamp out burning fires
Q: why do elephants have flat feet?
A: to stamp out burning ducks
Q: why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: to stamp out burning fires
Q: why do elephants have flat feet?
A: to stamp out burning ducks
Caution: Puns And Corney Jokes Ahead!
Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.
Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.
Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.
Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.
Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.
Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.
Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
Sex
Sex is a sensation caused by a temptation,
For a guy to stick his location into a girl's destination,
To increase the population for the next generation.
Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
Sex is a sensation caused by a temptation,
For a guy to stick his location into a girl's destination,
To increase the population for the next generation.
Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
365 Condoms
Q: what do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: melt them down, remodel into a tire, and call it a Goodyear
Q: what do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: melt them down, remodel into a tire, and call it a Goodyear
A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black."
A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants!"
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black."
A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants!"
If god made everything then he's Chinese.
Sex is evil, sex is a sin, sins are forgiven so stick it in.
Kissing is a habit, fcking is a game. Guys get all the pleasure, girls get all the pain.
10min of pleasure, 9 months of pain. 3 days on the hospital, a baby with no name.
The baby is a bastard, the mother is a whore, this never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore.
10min of pleasure, 9 months of pain. 3 days on the hospital, a baby with no name.
The baby is a bastard, the mother is a whore, this never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore.
