Funny Quotes -

Funny quotes from comedians, or other well know people.

I hate when the remote is way over there.
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| by x3xTeArsx
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Dont Do That. If You Know What I Mean

Everything sounds wrong if you say," if you know what I mean after it." If you know what I mean.
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| by fishylane
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When you’re doing something you aren’t supposed to, every small noise scares the crap out of you.
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| by x3xTeArsx
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Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
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| by x3xTeArsx
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It's April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. So it’s like any other day. Right?
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| by x3xTeArsx
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Plastic Surgeon

Never trust a plastic surgeon whose office is filled with paintings by Picasso.
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Mom Its On Me

Is it good if vacuums really suck?
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| by fishylane
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There is a great need for sarcasm font.
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| by x3xTeArsx
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Saying “Beer can” with a British accent sounds like “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent.
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| by x3xTeArsx
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EASILY COCK-BLOCKED!

Wearing a Chastity Belt means you got protection!
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| by 2Hawt4U
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Showing 41 to 50 of 574 jokes.