Mature -
Adult oriented jokes
My Father Said This...
A man once said to his child "With great power comes-"
The child interrupted "Great responsibility?"
"Well, I was gonna say bitches, but if you wanna stay a virgin forever..."
A man once said to his child "With great power comes-"
The child interrupted "Great responsibility?"
"Well, I was gonna say bitches, but if you wanna stay a virgin forever..."
Santa The Player
Once upon a time there was this kid who broke a very very important statue of his mom he was afraid of what his mom would do to him so he sended a card to Santa saying i want a sister to blame stuff on. For chritmas. So santa wrote back: ok send me your mom
Once upon a time there was this kid who broke a very very important statue of his mom he was afraid of what his mom would do to him so he sended a card to Santa saying i want a sister to blame stuff on. For chritmas. So santa wrote back: ok send me your mom
Quotes
"One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is an awesome phrase. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted.
"One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is an awesome phrase. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted.
Smartass
There was this drunk speeding down the road but caught by a officer. The officer chased the man for 5 minuets until he finally came to a stop. When the officer approached the car the drunk noticed that the officer was a beautiful woman.
"please step out of the car"
The drunk proceeded
"everything you say will be held against you"
The man with a smirk on his face said
"boobs"
There was this drunk speeding down the road but caught by a officer. The officer chased the man for 5 minuets until he finally came to a stop. When the officer approached the car the drunk noticed that the officer was a beautiful woman.
"please step out of the car"
The drunk proceeded
"everything you say will be held against you"
The man with a smirk on his face said
"boobs"
What Would You Do?
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Little Johnny
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.""Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.""Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
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