Blonde -
Duh, blonde jokes!
Football
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said,
"but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents. "
"What on earth do you mean??? "
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said,
"but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents. "
"What on earth do you mean??? "
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
Horse Ride
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when
Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when
Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
PG 18
Q;Why are there seventeen blondes standing in front of the cinema ?
A: They have to be eighteen to watch the film
Q;Why are there seventeen blondes standing in front of the cinema ?
A: They have to be eighteen to watch the film
Aqaurius
Blond: I want to buy a goldfish please
Pet shop assistant: sure thing ma'am would you like an aquarium ?
Blond:I don't care what star sign it is!
Blond: I want to buy a goldfish please
Pet shop assistant: sure thing ma'am would you like an aquarium ?
Blond:I don't care what star sign it is!
Fire
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad.
The commander says, "READY, AIM " and the brunette yells "TORNADO! "
All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.
Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM " and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!". Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.
Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM " and the blonde yells "FIRE!"
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad.
The commander says, "READY, AIM " and the brunette yells "TORNADO! "
All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.
Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM " and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!". Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.
Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM " and the blonde yells "FIRE!"
Pool
Q. How do you kill a blonde and make it look like an accident?
A. Throw a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool. :)
Q. How do you kill a blonde and make it look like an accident?
A. Throw a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool. :)
The only reason blondes have more fun is because they're easier to entertain.
Blondes
A blonde and a burnette make their own farm buisness. They decide to buy a bull but the maximum is $200. The burnette is going to buy the bull and then send a telegram to the blonde to come pick it up. The burnette goes to buy the bull but it's priced $210. "$199 take it or leave it!" she says. "you got yourself a deal" says the bull owner. She gives the man the money and goes to send a telegram to the blonde. Sadly she only has one dollar left and each word costs one dollar. She thinks to herself and says, " comfortable." The telegram man says, "comfortable?" "yeah," replies the burnette, " she reads slow."
A blonde and a burnette make their own farm buisness. They decide to buy a bull but the maximum is $200. The burnette is going to buy the bull and then send a telegram to the blonde to come pick it up. The burnette goes to buy the bull but it's priced $210. "$199 take it or leave it!" she says. "you got yourself a deal" says the bull owner. She gives the man the money and goes to send a telegram to the blonde. Sadly she only has one dollar left and each word costs one dollar. She thinks to herself and says, " comfortable." The telegram man says, "comfortable?" "yeah," replies the burnette, " she reads slow."
Showing 81 to 90 of 183 jokes.
