Gender -
Jokes that make fun of gender differences
Philosoraptor Says:
If a man says his mind in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?
If a man says his mind in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?
The Cure To Spousal Abuse
A woman goes to the doctor one day. She is covered in bruises. The doctor asks,
"What happened to you?"
"Doctor, every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."
The doctor thinks for a moment and says, "Get some Iced Tea. Everytime your husband comes home, take a drink and swish it around in your mouth. Swish it and swish it until he goes to bed."
The woman leaves and comes back a few weeks later.
She says, "Doctor, it worked! I got some Iced Tea and swished it around until my husband went to bed. How did you know that would work?"
The doctor replies, "See what happens when you keep your mouth shut!"
A woman goes to the doctor one day. She is covered in bruises. The doctor asks,
"What happened to you?"
"Doctor, every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."
The doctor thinks for a moment and says, "Get some Iced Tea. Everytime your husband comes home, take a drink and swish it around in your mouth. Swish it and swish it until he goes to bed."
The woman leaves and comes back a few weeks later.
She says, "Doctor, it worked! I got some Iced Tea and swished it around until my husband went to bed. How did you know that would work?"
The doctor replies, "See what happens when you keep your mouth shut!"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A lick-alot-o-puss
A lick-alot-o-puss
The Kitchen
One day a man and a women are out side. They are looking at there house an the man says see that? That's you not in the fucking kitchen, you need to get there.
One day a man and a women are out side. They are looking at there house an the man says see that? That's you not in the fucking kitchen, you need to get there.
A few men are gathered for a survey, and the organizer says "Ok, all guys who get manipulated and ruled by your wives, stand on the right side. The rest stay left."
Everybody quickly moves right, and only Sipho stays at the left side. The organizer asks him "Sipho, why are you standing there?" and Sipho replies tentatively, "My wife told me to."
Everybody quickly moves right, and only Sipho stays at the left side. The organizer asks him "Sipho, why are you standing there?" and Sipho replies tentatively, "My wife told me to."
Needs
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.
But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
The husband says "WHAT?" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.
And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says "But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it.'
The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register. "
The husband says, "No no no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife face goes blank.
"No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!"
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.
But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
The husband says "WHAT?" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.
And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says "But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it.'
The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register. "
The husband says, "No no no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife face goes blank.
"No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!"
Credit Card
Nails = $15
Hair = $25
New Outfit = $50
Matching Shoes = $100
Shoes that don't match but they're cute so you buy them anyway = $80
Husband's expression when he sees the credit card bill = priceless(:
Nails = $15
Hair = $25
New Outfit = $50
Matching Shoes = $100
Shoes that don't match but they're cute so you buy them anyway = $80
Husband's expression when he sees the credit card bill = priceless(:
The Truth
Women always say that they can do anything a man can do but they can do it in high heels. Can they pee while standing and get it in a urinal?
-Shady
Women always say that they can do anything a man can do but they can do it in high heels. Can they pee while standing and get it in a urinal?
-Shady
Q. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
Showing 1 to 10 of 81 jokes.
