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Spongebob taught me how to love everyone even if their mean to me.
Patrick taught me that I should be myself even if everyone else thinks im dumb.
Squidward taught me that music is life even if others hate the kind i like.
Mr.Krabs taught me the value of a dollar. Pearl taught me that you should always be prepared for any sitioution. Plankton taught me that I should go after something if I really want it even if I fail every time I try to get it. And Sandy taught me to never forget where I come from...
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(untitled).

My cat is like a big, fluffy pillow. The difference is, the pillow doesn't scratch when you lay down on it.
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| by OpalKoboi
| Misc
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Funny Comeback

Haha! I beat you.

Yup, and that's the most significant thing you'll ever do.
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| by OpalKoboi
| Misc
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Boy: i had a wet dream about you
Girl: aww, what happend?
Boy: You got hit by a bus and i pissed myself laughing.
2.5 / 5  (2 votes)
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Disney Is Scary...

Disney's movies are strange...
Snow White encourages giving midgets nicknames...
Cinderella, as long as your hot you can find happiness in life...
Hunchback of Notre Dame, if your ugly and deformed with amazing climbing and singing skills, you don't get the girl cause only the man in shining armour gets her.
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| by ShadoShane
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Yeah!!!

My ex-girlfriend was a freak... She had like this weird fetish of dressing up as herself and acting like such a crazy bitch...
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| by ShadoShane
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Heaven

Boy: Did it hurt ?
Girl: Did what hurt ?
Boy: When you fell down from heaven

This got me a girl so say to the girl of your dreams
X
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Pick Up Line

If you were a meal on the McDonalds menu,, you will be the McGorgeous
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.......

Do you wanna know the secret to living a blissful life?
Don't watch the news, they fill it with really tragic things.
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| by ShadoShane
| Misc
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Saved...

Before the Internet...
"Hey kid, wanna buy drugs?"
"I don't believe in doing drugs."
After the creation of the Internet...
"Hey kid, wanna buy drugs?"
"I don't believe in buying things."

See, piracy helps young adults make the right choice to not do drugs. So does Cyanide and Happiness, well at least this one does.
3.0 / 5  (1 vote)
| by ShadoShane
| Misc
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Showing 1 to 10 of 2364 jokes.